You know how you have extremely weird dreams but never remember them? Well, I finally remember one, and I have no idea what to say about it. There are dreams where it feels like everything happens at once, and dreams that you forget and then have a deja vu moment later in life. And then there’s the insane dreams that feel like your brain is trying to tell you a story and just fails. If anyone wants to help figure out what this dream may even mean, interpret at your own risk as logic seems to cry in the corner whenever I fall asleep.

It starts with me at my dorm, talking to my parents on the phone. This alone is really funny to me (haha, my phone works? WUT), but that’s besides the point. I think I was trying to barter for more random junk food like chips and wasn’t making much progress, so I hung up and start reading this story that seemed suspiciously like Harry Potter acting out the plot of the original Die Hard movie in Dracula’s Castle.

Kind of like this. Actually not really…

I’m pretty sure that took up quite a good portion of the dream, but I don’t remember a single detail about it. Regardless, the dream went on to something completely different. I look up for a minute and suddenly I’m in my family’s car driving down a road from my hometown. It’s next to the high school’s athletic fields, so the sky is clearly visible and unusually cheerful. Seriously, the sky was like “Teletubbies” level of cheeriness, it was unsettling yet soothing. And then my mother starts nonchalantly talking about how my grandfather died and how my father went to his house to acquire some Belgian chocolates. Yeah…apparently my mind trolled me with mood whiplash. What a jerk.

“I’m the sun, and ha-ha your grandpa’s dead!”

We hit traffic, which is impossible on the road I was on in real life, and see everyone in front of us making a detour to the left. I drive straight forward because I figure “F**k traffic, I’m driving straight forward”, but my mom says we need to deliver a letter down the road. I don’t know why, but I start randomly flipping out at this news because I either didn’t want to or I didn’t believe letters existed anymore. Whatever. I kept yelling despite my making a left turn anyway, so apparently I can’t even control what I do in my dreams either.

When I got on the road, I realized the left turn into that road was where the aforementioned traffic was supposed to come out of. So, logically thinking “just back out and continue on my way”, I crash into a random tree. And suddenly I’m in the woods, with the letter in one hand and a lack of an arm in the other. The house is in front of me (because I apparently know what the house is supposed to look like) and go on.

It looked exactly like this. No, really.

I go up to the house, which is apparently two houses put together, like a condo. It had a giant 13 and giant 15 on adjacent doors. Oh wait, what? I don’t have any idea which one to go through? I swear, I look at the doors for like 5 minutes in dream time before I realize that the letter should have an address. I try checking it and see that both the letter and envelope are blank. Yep, so that whole trip was completely pointless. I get angry, and decide to go home, but the next thing I know I’m already inside the house anyway. Thanks again mind, what a pal.

The house is abandoned, all the furniture is askew, and yet all the lights are on. I suddenly realize that my arm is back, and its holding the exact same shirt I was wearing the entire time of the dream. I begin then decide not to wonder why, and then a girl, who I assume owns the house, comes from another room walking her dog as if she were outside. The girl was distinctly not paying attention to anything at all, staring off into space or whatever. The dog looked like this:

Only it had high heels.

And it said “Hi! How are you today?” Yeah the dog talked, moving on.

Now the girl comes up to me and says “Can you double-check my work?” I had no idea what she was talking about, but then she hands me what looks suspiciously like the letter I was supposed to give her. I look at it and now it has a ton of writing on it, most of it that looked like Calculus equations. I wouldn’t want to bother with that even in real life, so I skip to the final result, which is 2h/-h*10. I ask why she didn’t cancel out the h’s and she starts talking in a weird voice as though she was a radio host. But surprise, it’s actually the radio from my alarm clock, which had been going on for 5 minutes.

So yeah, I have no idea what I was thinking. The more details I remembered, the more confusing this story became. But why do I remember this so vividly? Dreams never work like this…jeez maybe my mind is a complete troll after all.

Troll mind is troll.

That’s all, I’m done. The dream had no ending, so neither shall you. BWAHAHA.